Dating a twin
It really bothered me; [my sister’s opinion is] important to me.It’s hard to settle down with someone if I don’t have the blessing from [my twin].”But of course, you want anyone you care about to like your partner, right? More research led me to this 2012 study on twins and marriage, which says that “twins tend to marry later than non-twins and more twins than singletons remain unmarried,” and “twins have a constant companion from the very beginning and they develop close relationships with one another and, as such, it may be a challenge for twins to find a marriage partner who can compete with the co-twin relationship.”, I thought.
Without encouragement, identical twins are especially at risk of losing out on this important part of individualization.Based on my own experiences, this very much seems to be true.I remember during our childhood summers on Cape Cod, while I swam out too deep in the ocean, it was my twin — not my parents, who were leisurely relaxing on the beach — who stood at the water’s edge, anxiously watching for me until I was close to shore.Dating a twin may be similar or not so similar to dating a person who was a single birth child.Sometimes, especially with identical twins, the amount of closeness between twins can interfere with romantic relationships.Of course, sometimes twins date twins, and there are even twin dating services.
In some ways this may be ideal, since other twins may more fully “get” the complexity of twin relationships.
In any dating situation, you should ask yourself if the person you are dating is suited to you.
While you might show some understanding for close sibling relationships, if that closeness makes you personally unhappy, it may be time to find someone else to date.
But now that I’m nearing my mid-thirties (gasp) and am still single (gasp! It’s hard to find that person because I have a close connection with my twin.
For example, my last girlfriend, my sister did not like her, and I took that into account a lot.
If this closeness interferes with developing a relationship on a normal path, it may be that the person you chose to date is simply not ready to define himself or herself fully as an individual.