“I feel like I’ve grown into being more socially outgoing and talkative, but I wasn’t always that way,” he said.“I think there was a long time where I felt ashamed, ashamed or self-conscious, or attributing me being single to the fact that I don’t have these qualities and I need to have these qualities in order to attract people.
Maltempo compared this approach to meeting people at a mixer, where you can gauge your chemistry with only one person at a time.He asked himself: “Would people notice [me] if I was a large bearded white guy who likes hiking? I don’t need it in online dating, too.] After nearly three years on Ok Cupid, Montecillo met his current girlfriend, who is Caucasian.His approach was to emphasize his interests (he and his girlfriend are both big fans of Radiotopia podcasts); and keep his profile short but interesting.Tao Liu, a doctorate student in counseling psychology at Indiana University, has measured how Asian American men experience gendered racism.[My boyfriend was intimidated by my sexual history.When he signed up for Ok Cupid in 2013, he was in Singapore but began using it more frequently when he moved to Portland, Ore., the following year.
It was around then that he saw Ok Cupid’s data on race and attraction.
A little over a year later, Maltempo married a woman he met on the site.
But dating — online or off — was hardly a smooth experience.
Even though intellectually I knew it wasn’t true, but emotionally [I was] blaming myself for not meeting a seemingly objective standard of what is attractive.” MC Maltempo, a 36-year-old Korean American who grew up in Golden, Colo., also met his significant other online.
He first joined in 2006, but only started using it seriously in 2013.
Maltempo says women occasionally made assumptions about him based on his race.