Early dating rules for women
On the other hand, if you've been waiting and he's not quite there yet, it may be time to move on, since the two of you aren't quite in sync.
A better rule: Forget the "always" or "never" rules about paying, says Dr. "Who pays will depend on your generation or who did the asking out," or just your impulse at the time the check comes. Better yet, be upfront when you go out: "This one's on me" always sounds good.In the case of a check tussle, use it as an opportunity to have a laugh, and go dutch.Photo: i Stockphoto This may be an effect of too many romance movies; we all can easily fall under the spell of the idea of love- or lust-at-first-sight, a notion that is as old as Romeo and Juliet.A better rule: "Sexual chemistry is important, but you may not feel it initially," says Dr. "It can develop after you've known someone for a while." That said, adds Dr. " If you're truly not feeling it, it's better to let things go gently now rather than hang around waiting and hoping for a match to flare. Don't reveal your desire for children, a new career or any other life goal.It's mighty old-fashioned to be so demure with a new guy that you don't reveal your true wishes for what you want out of life.It's easy to think that if you don't feel the tingle at the outset—or at the very least, the first kiss—there's no way you're going to make it over the long haul.
But that sort of thinking might cause you to overlook the quiet-but-intriguing guy whose company you enjoy even though you don't feel a spark just yet.
Plus, it could cause friction between you and your date, and the last thing you'd want is to end up in a mighty Red State/Blue State battle over margaritas.
A better rule: Though you don't need to demand to know on date number two how he voted in the last presidential election, "you do eventually want to know these vital things about a potential partner," says Dr. "You might as well get things out of the way that could be deal breakers down the line." Plus, if you find out that your views are aligned—or even if they clash in just the right way—you've got some spirited and interesting conversations ahead. If you're divorced, wait one month for each year you were married before dating.
Old credos, like waiting a certain number of dates before having sex or insisting that the guy should always pick up the bill, may be officially outmoded, but they still linger in many people's minds. "Because one of these rules might have worked in one situation with one person," says Gary Lewandowski, Jr., Ph D, associate social science professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey—which by no means makes it something that everyone should live by.
Read on for eight dating rules ripe for the breaking.
In the past, you may have been told to keep your desire to have children, for example, under wraps out of fear that you might scare away a guy who isn't quite ready to settle down yet.