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Funny dating profile intros

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Talking to people in the real world until you trick someone into thinking you’re attractive and funny is not only difficult, but incredibly time-consuming.Luckily, Tinder exists so you can trick people from the comfort of your own home.

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Above all else, I value honesty and kindness in a partner, so if you're a genuine person with a lust for life, send me a message! (Bonus points if you have over eight years of experience as a forklift operator.) Example 5: Straightforward and Down-to-Earth I'm a graduate of Texas Christian University, where I majored in Post-Modern Literature. 80% of the time you'll find me with my nose deep in a book (except on Sunday nights from 9 - 10 PM when Breaking Bad is on - GO HEISENBERG! Travelling is also a major passion of mine, and I spend a lot of my free-time planning out future adventures. I have an 18 month old german shepherd named Ringo - he unfortunately lost one of his legs in a car accident, but he's still the cutest thing on the planet!If you answered 'yes' to either question', then I'm afraid there's no way we'll get along, sorry!Now that we've gotten the formalities out of the way, let me introduce myself...Whether we're watching a movie, playing soccer or jamming on the piano, we always have an amazing time together. Tropez, just in time to watch the sun set over the glistening water.I like to focus my energy on collecting experiences as opposed to 'things' and would much rather spend my money on a trip to a foreign country than on a fancy new car. Or if that doesn't excite you, we could just grab coffee at the Starbucks on 24 ave.According to my sister, the girls I've met in the "real world" have been less-than-stellar (even though I thought my dating life was perfectly fine! So at her request, I've decided to try something completely new and jump into the world of online dating. I'm 28 years old and work as a unit clerk at a local hospital. I like to spend my evenings watching re-runs of Felecity while sipping on a glass of Chardonnay.

I can honestly say that I love my job because it gives me the opportunity to connect with people on a daily basis. I play a mean game of rock-paper-scissors (was the national champion for 2 years straight), and love the smell of pop tarts in the morning (part of a complete breakfast!

Ultimately, I'd like to be known for serving the most delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on this side of the Mississippi... On my days off, you'll either find me playing hockey or belting out show-tunes with my 6-month-old nephew Jason.

He says we should take our act on the road, but I think he needs to brush up on his harmonies first.

Anyway, if you're easy-going and at least 86% awesome, feel free to drop me a line sometime! I'm attracted to people who set big goals and put all their effort into pursuing them. I can't stand their smell and don't want to be around smoke all the time. :( Me You: An undeniably awesome couple with amazing chemistry. Example 4: Goofy and Sarcastic I tie my own shoes, brush my own hair, and make my own bed...

Example 2: Genuine and Modest Hey there, my name's Dave. Even if your life's dream is to become the world's greatest thumb-wrestler, I totally dig it. (well, only if my mom isn't at home.) During the day, I can be found sitting in an office cubicle, feverishing tapping my phone with hopes of getting a new high score on Candy Crush.

Example 1: Light-Hearted and Silly I may not be a supermodel, but at least I smell nice... When I'm not busy saving the world or just ‘being awesome', I spend my time working as a bartender and part-time chef.