I kissed dating goodbye
Who wouldn’t want to please God with a pure heart and body on their wedding day?Of course, it isn’t as simple as all that and, really, IKDG is revealing a method that cedes self-autonomy for what God and your parents want.
But the sad thing about religious colonialism, which I see IKDG as part of, is that it doesn’t respect borders well.But beside my non-existent teen love life, the book had a larger impact that as an adult, I’m only now coming to grips with—damaging expectations of myself, men, and sexuality—beliefs that have cost me love, friendship, and given me a life of shame.(IKDG) about four years later near the end of middle school.I would never have known Josh Harris’s name were it not for this book and his elevation based on it.Even though I didn’t see myself as his primary audience, I and others like me reaped the consequences of his work. I was always an avid book reader and since I took my evangelical faith so seriously, I wanted to learn all I could about dating.The teaching in Harris’ book is much like what I encountered in white and black churches.
I have to listen so hard to myself to actually know what I like, what I don’t, and what I desire, because the idea of pleasure is a foreign idea.
The wider teaching also undermined a relationship I had toward the end of college.
It actually had potential and we had a lot of intellectual, emotional, and sexual chemistry but I felt I had to break it off before we “got into trouble.” So I felt pressured to be guarded.
I once called it that, but no more.: I first read IKDG while in college in Jamaica.
I’d moved there from the UK where I’d attended an all-immigrant congregation that packaged purity culture as counter-cultural self-empowerment and self-love.
I remember seeing the cover, and thinking how cool it looked, tipped fedora and all.