Online dating how and why
We’re sure that when Tinder was first released, it was done so with the idea that the app makers would pretty much be saving the dating world – helping people find love without having to go to bar after bar to find someone they fancy. The first thing questionable about the app is that you’re immediately judging someone on their profile photo before swiping left or right.
It said: "Do you want to go to lunch and a movie tomorrow? She'll pay." Watching Amy Webb's TED talk (in which she details her online dating frustrations⎯until she got all her algorithms right), I was reminded of my own internet adventures before finally meeting my husband on Match in 2006. Calculating debt based on who had caramel in their frappuccino is not. Approaching in the bright orange jacket I'd "borrowed" from a costume shop, I sported a hippy-fringe purse. Chris felt it too, awkwardly standing there in his loafers, pressed slacks, and white oxford.Thinking of all the people who’ve swiped left on you can’t be good for your self-esteem. While some people decide to fill theirs with jokes or even flirty messages (which is often successful but let’s face it, not original in the slightest), others like to get real about their passions and their dreams to give potential daters some insight into the person they are.But unfortunately, to actually read that bio – that someone could’ve worked seriously hard on – you actually have to be attractive enough for a potential match to want to click on it and learn more about you.And ultimately, you can share things that perhaps in real-life, you’d be too afraid to unless you knew you were really going somewhere with them. And sadly, it may take your match a while to realise you’re not for them.Because the app is so often used for sexual purpose, you could be investing your time into someone who only wants this – and isn’t interested in anything else.That’s more than enough to convince someone that perhaps the dating world isn’t really for them.
While admittedly, Tinder was a great idea, I think that’s all it’ll ever be.
On 12 September, Tinder turned five years old – having been released back in 2012 in hopes that it was going to change the dating world. It’s seen more than 10 billion matches, made up of people who’ve all spent at least minutes swiping left or right on people they found attractive and also not so attractive.
But unfortunately, not all of those people have found love.
There may be some success stories – but if you’re forcing the idea on people that people should pick their dates based on appearance, you can’t expect people to successfully find true love. It’s personality that you’ve got to rely on forever.
And personally, I don’t think you can trust you’ll find a connection through an app where personality is kept safely in the background.
At least you’ve got shots and a night’s worth of fun secured with the latter. It gives you a chance to be yourself with someone without worrying about them judging you there and then.