This friendship-first approach has fundamentally changed my understanding of dating and relationships.Observe what happened next…A year after meeting Jessica, I needed to travel to a new city for work and I realized that I had no place to stay there.
Ok Cupid (sometimes abbreviated as OKC) is an American-based international operating online dating, friendship, and social networking website that features member-created quizzes and multiple-choice questions.I mentioned my predicament to Jessica, and she excitedly revealed that her good friend had just moved to the city I was visiting.She quickly connected us via Facebook, where her friend and I immediately hit it off and subsequently spent the whole weekend together.Complaining about being “friendzoned” is incredibly harmful to our relationships and can cripple our capacity for both healthy friendships and healthy relationships.The friendship-first approach is not an isolated theory. Our existing friends have always been our best source of referrals.Last year, I met a girl named Jessica on Ok Cupid and we agreed to meet up and go on an adventure date throughout Seattle.
We explored new neighborhoods, meandered through parks, and people-watched out of a coffee shop’s balcony.
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Consequently, that one person who previously would’ve been a single “yes/no” one-off date with no followup instead becomes not just a friend, but a fantastic advocate in our quest to build future friendships and relationships.
The most effective strategy for finding a good relationship is thus to optimize dating sites for finding Friends understand our needs, become invested in our story, and enthusiastically introduce us to more of their friends.
Sex and romance can definitely still happen in the context of friendship-first dating, but they are never assumed or expected, and the top priority is always to understand and validate someone’s existing preferences and goals rather than imposing your own goals and expectations upon them.