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In general, many of these benefits and costs were the same for both men and women.

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This leads to the "other" friend zone women more routinely face, the "friends-with-benefits zone", where sex is shared but commitment is not reciprocated.Both of those articles received a good deal of commentary and stirred debate.Generally, that debate centered on whether men and women, particularly, can be "just friends".It was after dinner, we’d had a bottle of wine or four, and decided we wanted to go to the bar ashore for a drink – but of course we didn’t want to get dressed. Into the dighy we climbed, motored off to the bar (not the Soggy Dollar, the other one) and in we walked.There were only half a dozen people there, but not surprisingly our entrance was noticed.Men were more likely to see sex and romantic potential in an opposite sex friend as a benefit (women primarily saw it as a cost).

As a result, men were also more likely than women to say that they had sex with an opposite sex friend (22% vs. Men were also more likely to report friendship costs of lowered self-worth and giving time to help the friend, while women found their own inability to reciprocate the male's attraction as costly.

In the first article, I shared some possible techniques to escape the friend zone and potentially turn from friend to boyfriend or girlfriend (see here).

In the second article, I discussed this problem a bit more, sharing tips on how to avoid the friend zone in the first place (see here).

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I was on a nude sailing cruise in the British Virgin Islands 6-7 years ago and we were anchored in White Bay.

She was very flustered, garbled a few incoherent monosylables, and then left, having forgotten to take our drink orders.