Why am i intimidating
The expectations about what it takes to "be a real man" these days is convoluted and confusing. Every person comes with their own story about themselves (and their own self-worth, or lack of it) and what they want in a partner.Men want to know they shine amongst the competition, so it's disheartening when they show up ready for validation only to find that the beautiful woman across the table is just as successful, can meet the basic needs in life herself, and is looking for something deeper and more profound than what the conventional paradigm offers. But, let's be crystal clear about something here, ladies: When a man says, "You’re intimidating", what he’s really saying is, " intimidated." And there is a BIG difference between the two. We are rarely privy to knowing any of that during the introduction stage of a relationship.
Ultimately, ladies: We get to choose how we react to other people's judgment. Dimming your light and power only enables their weakness and creates co-dependency, which is the opposite of what you truly desire.You want to feel comfortable and confident, but if you dress in a way that’s too overt and revealing, you may attract the kind of attention that you don’t want, while inadvertently scaring off the kind that you do.It may be something as simple as the difference between being sensual and sexual, but take a long, cold look at what you’re wearing before you leave the house, and think about the partner you’d like to see yourself with.As author Marianne Williamson says, "Your playing small does not serve the world.There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you."So, stay true to your greatness and wish guys like this all the best on their journey as they grow into their own greatness.Sure, they’re noisy, pushy and often far too boisterous for their own good, but it can take a lot of forced bravado – as well as a little imbibing – to get them to act that way.
So when they’re out there in the dating wild, men are looking for any sign of encouragement to indicate that it’s safe to make an approach.
I own my weaknesses as well as my successes, since they’re all part of who I am, but while some men feel my confidence and openness make me approachable, and even inspirational, a great number of men tell me that I’m ... One guy even went so far as to advise me on how to tone down my confidence so that men might find me more desirable in the future.
When I look at it from the man’s point of view, I understand how hard it is to put yourself out there.
Now just uplevel that notion to add "every day achiever" who is ALSO genuinely "happy with where he’s at." Because those men out there.
Or, maybe you realize you really do want someone who sees something greater in himself and is willing to do the scary work it takes to rise into that. Either way, you’re honing in on what works for you.
Though I haven’t found my "forever" romantic partner yet, I have made a couple fantastic friends; my strength excites and encourages them.